Well, It's Official...

The naked, bald, dirty homemade Cabbage Patch Kid that's been sitting on our washer for a week is creeping me the fuck out.

TV: Still Great, Once You Sift Through The Crap.

The Onion's AV Club did an interview with Joel McHale a few weeks back where he said "90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better." McHale, as usual, is right. Here are the things I can't stop watching on TV right now:

Animal Cops: Houston - I'm not a huge fan of horses, but I've discovered that I am a fan of horses being rescued from shitheads who don't want to feed them. Plus, the squad (pictured above) rescues all sorts of other animals, from all sorts of low-lifes and nutjobs, and it makes for some good viewing. It's depressing at times, but they always wrap it up with a feel-good adoption story so you can sleep at night.

The Soup - Speaking of Joel McHale... "The Soup" has become the most consistently funny weekly show on television. It's similar to "Animal Cops," in that the clips they show are a depressing reminder of how our society is crumbling into idiocy, but when McHale cracks wise, you remember all is not lost.

The Best of Soul Train - This airs once a week, at 3AM on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Channel three around these parts. I implore you, set your DVR. It is so worth it. Last week Cheryl Lynn lip-synced "Got To Be Real" and then Don Cornelius came out, put his arm around her, and said "Damn, that's a lot of woman." It was awesome.

Soul School - Hey, remember when hip hop was good? Yeah, me too. It was like 20 years ago. VH1 Soul rolls out all the cool golden age shit when they're playing this show. I saw "Buddy" by De La Soul followed by "Brooklyn Queens" by 3rd Bass the other day. It's pretty sweet.

Martin - TV One (which seems to be a better version of BET) shows "Martin" reruns like six times a day. Maybe I'm alone on this one, but I think this show is fantastic. And Bruh Man takes me back to a simpler, more innocent time.

Letterman - Still the supreme champion of the universe.

Metal Mania on VH1 Classic - Still the best way to kill three hours in the middle of the night.

I watch the news sometimes, too.

Who In The Hell Is Roxx Gang, And Why Are They Following Me?

Before Sunday, I had never heard of 80's ass rockers Roxx Gang. And I was fine with that.

That was before I went to a yard sale, where some aging punk rockers (the man of the house was easily late 30's, rocking a pin infested vest and drinking a tall boy of Bud at 10 in the morning) were selling off some of their vintage goods. In the Craigslist post, there was promise of records and old wrestling magazines, so I was there. The record selection was slim, but while flipping through the few they had, I came across an LP by, wait for it, Roxx Gang. I even made a mental note to myself, thinking it a bit strange that I had never even heard of these huge-haired jokers.

The wrestling magazines they did have were in a cardboard box, mixed in with weird horror make-up mags and a ton of mid-to-late 80's hair metal magazines. I picked out all the wrestling magazines, and at the last minute, the June 1989 issue of Rip with Lita Ford and Doro Pesch on the cover caught my eye. I threw it on the pile (along with some sweet 1984 issue WWF figures and an original No Holds Barred poster) and took it home. Leafing through it on the couch later, I was once again treated to Roxx Gang, in a short article in the "Fresh Blood" section, where apparently they featured up and coming bands.

So, lightning does strike twice.

I ended up at Everyday Music later in the day, and, you know it's coming, seriously just wait for it, I randomly flipped by a different Roxx Gang LP while looking for the original copy of Roxy Music's Country Life that has been evading me every day since the one time I saw it and didn't buy it four years ago.

To top it all off, I got to work today, and sure enough, discovered that we stock the reissue of their debut LP.

If anyone has a copy of The Voodoo You Love, hook a fella up. I am interpreting these signs and taking them very seriously.

We Get Another Cat, Mariners Win, I Get My First Fillings.

We had been talking about getting a third cat for a while, but we weren't sure if our landlord would let us. After seeing a picture of this guy on the internet, we had to ask. She gave us the go-ahead, we set up a meet and greet, and he's the newest member of the family.

So, meet Bilton. He takes his name from the middle name of Johnny Wockenfuss. A shocking turn of events, I know. And, to answer your next question: yes, he only has one eye. He was a stray (it's a long story, but basically he got ditched), and was the victim of some unfortunate circumstances. He's had a few surgeries, the eye has been removed, and he's no worse for the wear. His depth perception has somehow remained unaffected, and he is incredibly friendly. He's been here three days and he's already sleeping on the bed with us. What a guy.

He is, like our other cats, FIV positive, and that was our other reason for getting him. He had been in foster care for months, and they were very excited that we were interested in giving him, as Joy loves to say, a forever home. It worked out perfectly. He's a big boy, and he's quickly devising a plan to run shit around here. The Bot couldn't care less, and Bits seems happy to have someone to tussle with.

Speaking of our cats, Joy and I have a new blog, fivpositive.com, that will be detailing the ins and outs of our crazy life with these "sick" cats. We have realized that there are a lot of misconceptions about the disease, and it's already become an annoyance to us. So, time to get bloggy and set some shit straight. And, we like to publicly pat ourselves on the back. If there were a lord, we would clearly be doing his work.

Big weekend. Went to the Mariners game, it was awesome, they won, Joy left the digital camera in the car. So, we have a Safeco Field official disposable that needs to be developed. There will be pictures.

Since I am now apparently acting like an adult (and since I have insurance), I've been going to the dentist. Found out a few months back that I have my first four cavities. It's been a long time coming, and it was no surprise. My dentist is close to my place but always booked, so after a few "deep" cleanings and months of waiting, I finally spent an hour and half on Tuesday getting three of my teeth filled. I wasn't nervous, but I wasn't looking forward to it, either. Turns out it was no big deal, aside from the door jam-like apparatus they lodge in your mouth to prop your jaw open. That was no good.

The weekend is almost here, I'm in good spirits, and I'm going to spend my two days off trying to fix the brakes on my bike, singing a little bit of karaoke for the first time in a long time, and listening to Nightlife by Thin Lizzy.