Spring Dodgeball - Week Six: Man, These Seasons Go By Quick.

Another regular season is in (on?) the books, and again, we somehow pulled out a first-place finish. (Technically we're tied for first, but let's not get bogged down with syntax, OK?) The games on Monday were both great, though I have to say the first one was probably a bit more thrilling.

While we're still trying to find a surefire way to go into games revved and ready (I've proposed laps around the block; no takers thus far), we did seem to heat up a little quicker this time around. Still, the situation necessitated some of the come-from-behindness that we are quickly becoming known for. We never fell behind too far, but when you're neck-and-neck and it's approaching the eight-game mark, every game counts. Thanks to a clutch catch by Erin (on a bullet of a throw!), we tied things up, and then were able to take the lead that won us the match. The dramatic victories this season have been quite fun, if not a little stressful. But it's great to be in an exciting game, no matter the outcome.

Our second match was a more decisive victory, but I'll tell ya: some of these kids we play are full of piss and vinegar. I don't consider myself an old fogey, but I'm not nearly as spry as a few of the wily dudes we play against. They're shucking, jiving, playfully taunting; it's both hilarious and obnoxious. And it only feeds my need to leave welts on their shins. Which I do with reckless abandon. But you knew that.

We get a week off before playoffs, but then it's on like Donkey Kong. Standings are here. Looks like our team might be busted up for next season as a result of scheduling conflicts. But I'm going to play if a team'll have me. It's summer league, so it's time to hit the blacktop and reacquaint myself with the red rubber balls.

Now those actually leave welts.

Hey Fatty!

I got a movie for ya: A Fridge Too Far!

Spring Dodgeball - Week Five: Slow to Get Going.

This damn green team.

We just can't beat 'em. This time around it was due to (or maybe it's just easiest to blame it on) a slow start out of the gate, as I think we lost the first four games to them. We ended up taking four of the next seven, but alas, the damage was done. Still, they were good games, especially once we got going. They're the only team we've lost to this season, and it's frustrating. Hopefully we'll meet them again in the playoffs.

If we were a little annoyed at our performance in the first match, we must have used it to our advantage in the second one, because we shut out the next team we played. Nothing like hitting your stride 25 minutes into the evening, eh? Needless to say, I'll be studying game footage for the next week. Or I would be, if any existed. My arm's been feeling great lately, and I have almost no remaining traces of soreness in my shoulders anymore. I attribute it to getting back in the weight room and stretching extensively before our matches. Yup, I'm officially taking this all too seriously.

So, now we're in second place, all by ourselves. Yep, it's lonely near-but-not-quite-at the top. Only one week of the regular season left. Hope these steroids kick in soon!

Standings are here.

Spring Dodgeball - Week Four: The Comeback Kids.

Look at that action shot! That's a Katrina-BTB connection in motion.

We're having a great time this season. The winning's not hurting, but we've also played some really exciting games. This week was no exception, as we pulled out one close and one really close victory. Our first match was against a team that we've played against every season, and though we usually win, they're always a good match. This time around it was close, but we pulled together to take a lead towards the end that thankfully stuck until the end. Playing the first game of the night helps; you can get there a bit early and have ample time to warm up. I went into the match loose and ready, and soon shins across the court from me were exploding from the force of my bullet-like tosses.

Our next match was a wild one. Slow to start, we quickly found ourselves down 4-2. The outlook was bleak. It was then that we remembered that we're not a bunch of sissies who enjoy waving the white flag of surrender when times get tough. No, we're the kind of team who likes to get fake-fired up, which can eventually shift to real-fired up if things begin to turn in our favor. After a few key plays, that's exactly where we found ourselves. We rallied back to tie it, and with the clock running down, it all came down to the final game in what had suddenly become a best-of-nine series.

I let my guard down, took one in the arm, and headed to the sidelines to have my standard internal self-shaming conversation with myself, knowing that I'd have a long car ride home during which I could let loose with the tears that were welling up inside of me. Thankfully, fellow beardsman Tyler was still on the court, though soon he was the only one. Five opposing players faced him. In an ESPN Plays of the Week-worthy performance, he systematically picked off each member of the other side, finally drilling their last player and winning the match for our team. Team Awesome.

So here we sit, tied for first place and scheduled to play the team we're tied with in our first match next week. Let's get nuts. Standings are here.

The Films of Judy Greer, Part Four: Jawbreaker (1999)

Ah, the first movie I ever saw Judy Greer in.

After watching this tonight, I realized I've probably seen this movie five times, which is a bit odd, but I guess it came out ten years ago, so maybe I just watch it every couple o' years. That sounds better. Anyway, Jawbreaker is a great film, a very end-of-the-90's film that sums up '99 very well. The styles are all over the place and everything is retro and modern and somehow shiny. Does that sound like 1999?

In other ways, it's timeless. People in high school are still assholes (they'll always be assholes!) and 26-year-old girls can still somehow get away with playing high school students. Anyway, I don't want to get into the plot of the movie, because I think everyone's seen it, but Judy Greer really turns in a great performance here, both as Fern Mayo and her alter-ego Vilette.

I ain't even gonna lie, y'all: I found Vilette very attractive ten years ago, and I find her very attractive today. Something about those vinyl pants and the awkward looking half-shirt. Good stuff.

What the hell ever happened to Rebecca Gayheart? Maybe she's livin' large off that Noxema money. I also forgot that Jeff Conaway and P.J. Soles were in this movie. So that's something. Be wary of the DVD of this movie. It's full screen and doesn't have jack for extras. So, that was a pisser. But I was more than happy to watch this what-is-probably-a-total-chick-flick again.

Spring Dodgeball - Week Three: Couple o' W's.

This picture is actually from Week One, but you probably didn't know that.

That's right, we can add a few more notches to the ol' win column. Which is nice, but I was more excited about the amount of games we got to play on Monday night. I think we squeezed 20 in, and that's gotta be a record for our team. All the games were fast-paced (obviously), and it made for a really fun night. I don't recall anything too exciting happening, except for the first team we played being really into it (in a fun way), so that was cool. They got less into it the more I hit their girls in the kneecaps with a series of pinpoint-accurate gassers, but that's neither here nor there.

The important thing is, and I keep saying this, that we're having a good time. Of course it's easier when you win, but I think we're doing a fine job of remembering what's on the line here: nothing. So we should just play hard and enjoy ourselves, as long as nobody's getting hurt. And as long as I keep my velocity to a believably human level and aim my dodgeballian rockets below neck-level, we shouldn't see anybody hauled away on a stretcher this season. Not that that's ever happened, but you know, it could or whatever. I'm just that dangerous when you put a ball in my hand.

Standings are here, and we're tied for first. This next week is going to be crucial. I think we're up for it.