Summer Dodgeball - Week Two: Windy and Wild.

I have no idea what's going on in this photo, but I thought it was a pretty good one.

The wind was a slight factor this week, though I suppose the outdoor conditions could have been worse. It was dry but bordering on blustery, and instead of running from the back line to get the balls, teams had to line up at the middle and just toss the balls back at the whistle. I would like to use the adverse conditions as an excuse for why we lost our first match, but I won't. We just got outplayed, as is often the case when you lose at something. We were bettered. I hope to not let it happen again, as I feel in my heart of hearts that we are better than the team we lost to. I'm trying not to dwell on it. Clearly it's working.

We took out our aggressions on the second team we played, beating them handily and scoring our third win of the season. Somehow things got jumbled at the Underdog offices, so the standings show us at 2-2. I think we got mixed up with our sister team, Debbie Does Dodgeball. This is a clerical error that will be addressed on the next gameday, but meanwhile, we're looking like a .500 team when we're actually a .750 team. Let's be honest: it's textbook misappropriation and I plan to fight this thing and take it to the highest courts until the proper data is displayed in this most public of all forums. The truth will come to light.

Until then, I'm spending nights in my garage trying to deadlift my car. Gotta stay in peak physical condition, don't you know.

Sha-mon.

Summer Softball - Week Two: Looks Like It Might Be A Building Year.

But look at that batting stance. I've still got it!

Another super-fun game, and another Sunday afternoon well-spent. The rain looked like it was going to cancel our plans for hitting the diamond, but after a torrential downpour hit us hard and then passed by right at gametime, we were good to go the full seven innings.

Here's our weak spot so far: one bad inning on defense does us in. I think it was the second inning this time around. The opposition took us for nine runs with only two outs, forcing the ump to call the always-embarrassing "mercy rule" into effect, thus ending the inning and sparing us the humiliation of having anyone watch us get pummeled any farther. It doesn't feel good.

We ended up losing 21-9, and if you take out that one inning, we would have had ourselves a ball game. Instead, it wasn't really close. Though we did manage to get nine across, which is a great thing in my book. We're scoring runs, we're just giving up more than we get. It's a common problem.

On a personal (and self-serving) note, I had my best game of the season, going 4-4 with two triples, a double, and a single. (You can't see me, but I'm patting myself on the back as I type this with one hand.)

We're in the cellar, folks, and it's going to be a rough climb out. We've got a doubleheader this weekend, which I see as a perfect opportunity for some redemption. Or at least some sun and exercise. Did I mention how much I missed chewing sunflower seeds and spitting them everywhere? It's about as primal-dude as I get.

Con we.

Con us.

Con now.

Standings are here. We are the Boilerplates.

Also: this has all got me thinking about Wrecking Crew, a tremendous book I read a few months back about a real-life baseball team full o' hooligans. If you want to read it, I'll lend it to you. Just ask me.

Summer Dodgeball - Week One: Red Rubber Revival.

The new season of dodgeball is different from the last few for a number of reasons:

1. We're now playing on Thursdays instead of Mondays.

2. Because of this, a few of the folks from our normal lineup can't participate because of work-related commitments. (Specifically: working.) So, we're down a few regular team members.

3. We're playing outdoors, blacktop style, on Jefferson High's tennis courts. It's very inner-city feeling and very cool. Though it's already wreaked havoc on my leg joints.

4. We're back to the rubber "playground" balls, after using the rhino skin ones for the last three seasons. I thought this would take some reverse-getting-used-to, but it was only weird for a minute.

We had a great start to the season, winning both of our first matches and just playing really well in general. A few of the regular teams are back, but this league is fairly small and there are definitely some new faces. So, it's a good mix of old and new in a lot of ways, and just seems really random all around. I'm digging it.

We were the only squad to go undefeated the first week, so we've already jumped into first place and staked our claim as the team to beat. I say bring 'em on. The rugged street scenery and once-familiar sound of rubber slapping flesh has reinvigorated me. I'm feeling quite invincible.

Standings are here. We are Team Awesome.

Summer Softball - Week One: Far From A Shutout.

Not that I expected us to get shut out. I just didn't know what to expect. This is our first go-round with softball, and though we've practiced a few times, I don't think any of us felt ultra-confident. It didn't help that two of our players were out of town and one of our players was hurt.

So, considering those less-than-ideal factors, I think we did incredibly well. We didn't get our offense going until about the third inning, but after that we staged a few solid rallies and got some runs across. By the end of the game, we had 12 on the board. Not bad, right? But, since I got shelled while on the mound for the first four innings, the other team had racked up 16. Yeah, it was a high-scoring affair.

Still trying to figure out the vibe of the league. Some of the opposing players we faced on Sunday seemed like real dicks, but they may have been cranky because they were playing in the second game of a double header. Whatever. We had a fun time and I even struck a dude out. He should get more credit for that than me, though. I think he might have been drunk.

Man, I hadn't had a mouth full o' sunflower seeds in 15 years. It's good to be back.

I Want This On A T-Shirt So Bad.

I'm considering violating some bootlegging laws.

Spring Dodgeball - Week Seven: Playoffs.

First off, I must apologize for the lateness of this post. My life is crazy busy right now, and my commitment to the blogging community has taken a back seat to some more pressing issues. I know you've all been on pins and needles, waiting to see how we fared in the final week of the season. Sorry to leave the two of you hanging.

First, the good news: this was our best showing in the playoffs thus far. Easily. The bad news: it wasn't good enough to take the title. Almost. But not quite.

We played exceptionally well in our first two matches, and I don't mind saying so. We won our first one handily, coming out strong and riding the momentum. I don't know what was different, but any signs of a cold start (as in previous weeks) were nonexistent. We ended up winning by a tally of 6-2, and the games were fast-paced, a bit chaotic, and an assload of fun. And that's what it's all about, kiddos.

Our second match was against a team for which we knew we'd have to step our game up, the infamous "blue team." Our matches against them in the regular season had both been decided by one point, and it was clear (at least in our minds) that they felt victory was within their reach. For the first half of the match, they made a compelling argument for that theory. They were juiced up and ready for us, but perhaps not ready enough. After a few key plays mid-match, we turned the tide and never looked back. Another great match against a team that is quickly becoming our rivals, but this time our victory was more decisive: 6-2.

This put us into the Championship, and it was the first time we had made it to The Dance. Tensions were high, as this was the match-up everyone had anticipated–us against our arch nemeses: The Green Team. This damn group of go-getters. We can't find their weakness. They're just good. And this past Monday, they were better than us. Things looked to be swaying in our direction at a few points, but it was never enough. They took the lead, held onto it, and dashed our hopes with a few key victories at the end. The final score: 6-4.

So, congrats again to the Green Team, the only team that beat us all season. The fact that they managed to do it three times is frustrating, but also a testament to how good they are.

Now we look forward to outdoor dodgeball in about a week (with an amended team), and possibly softball this weekend.

To competitiveness!