Ketchup.

I know everyone's been dying to know how dodgeball's been going, but check this out: I got all married and shit! So, that explains my two-week absence from this scintillating blog. Joy and I's wedding was, needless to say, the bomb diggity, so check yo' self before I get all maritally blissed out on yer ass.

But seriously, let's talk about dodgeball. On the 16th, We had our match against the team with whom we were tied for first place, and we blew it. The final tally was 3-2, and sadly, not in our favor. There always has to be one team we can't beat... We did pick up a win in our second match, though, so that was of some consolation. I recall that I played angry and played well. Sometimes the anger translates into spasmodic flurries of flailing, but not this time. Instead, it revealed itself in a rapid fire spraying of rubber balls to the kneecaps.

On the 23rd, we split the decisions as well. I don't want to blame the sun on our loss, but when you can't see anything, it's a little hard to catch a ball. I have never dropped three balls in one match in all my life. I'm not trying to make excuses, but come on. It was a little ridiculous. Thankfully, I am not losing sleep over it. Anymore. I proceeded to feed off my anger for our next match, and we pulled it out by a narrow margin that should not have been so narrow, but that's another story.

We ended the season tied for second, and playoffs are tomorrow. Let's do this dang thing.

I missed our softball game on my wedding day, but apparently we only lost by a single digit number, which is something I would have liked to have been a part of. Against all logic, they're letting us into the playoffs, so we'll see how that turns out.

For now, it's back to the realities of life and all that staying up way too late can bring me. It ain't bad.

Summer Softball - Week Four: Peter Buck Watches Us Get Creamed.

In what may have been the highlight of our day on the field, R.E.M.'s guitarist stopped and watched our annihilation this past Sunday. He was walking his little dog with his wife. So that was something.

Our first two innings were actually something, too. I think we were ahead after two complete. As usual, it didn't last, and we ended up getting shellacked by a final tally of 38-12. Yeah, you're reading that right. I spent the entire day on the mound, watching balls fly in all directions. It was humbling.

We're alone in the cellar, folks. And I'm not going to be at the game this weekend because I'm apparently getting married on Sunday. I'm going to miss the sunflower seeds and the humilation.

Summer Dodgeball - Week Four: Fly New Gear.

Look at 'dem hot new designs on our shirts. Team Awesome has never looked awesomer.

Apparently the new duds inspired our game as well, because we played our collective buttocks off this past Thursday. We played a couple teams who had we had played already, but this season has been rife with substitutions, so you don't really feel like you're playing the same team twice. Whatever; we brought the confidence.

They wisely moved the playing area to the South side of the tennis courts we play on, which made the sun from last week a non-factor. With the shade in full effect, we could go about the business of beating the pulp out of teams without shading our eyes to see the carnage. It was advantageous. I drilled a girl right on her short-shorted bare thigh, and along with the satisfying smack, I could also see her rubbing it and muttering about how it was going to leave a mark.

Well, that's what you get for setting foot in the scope of my rifle. Target achieved.

We played two, we won two, and though the standings haven't been posted as of the moment I'm typing this, we have to at least still be tied for first place. Next week we face off against the team that we're vying for first place with. Should be a showdown.

Thankfully, my arm has never felt better. Haven't had to ice it in months. My shoulder is finally running at full capacity. Better think twice before donning the short shorts, ladies. And dudes. Seem to be a lot of guys showing a good amount of leg this season. Eh. They will be welted.

He's Gettin' A Pretty Good Sound Outta That Guy.

Summer Dodgeball - Week Three: Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy.

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry.

This is actually a photo from week two, so you can't see just how heavy the sun was beating down on us this past Thursday. We play in the evenings, and it's usually right around the time the sun is making its way towards setting. We face East to West when we play (I think I'm getting this right), so whichever team was on the East side of the court (facing West) would have the sun right in their eyes. BUT, if you came in close enough to the center line, it would be obscured by the building behind the team on the West side.

It reminded me of day games in baseball when the shadow of the stadium falls between the pitcher and the batter. As if it's not hard enough to see the ball coming at you, you have to follow it as it goes from dark to light. Not great. Luckily, we switch sides every two games, but still. Kind of brutal. Actually, it was only really bad in our first match. We had a 40-minute break in between matches, so by the time our second one came around, the sun was only in your eyes if you were near the back line.

ANYWAY, none of it mattered (though that felt like I was preparing an excuse for poor playing, didn't it?), because we played well and were able to add two more notches to the ol' win column. Our much-anticipated match against our sister team Debbie Does Dodgeball was a good one, but soured a bit by the fact that they only had two girls and were forced to play with five players instead of six. It was a victory, but not a full-fledged one, I suppose.

Waiting around for our second match sucked (we had never had to wait more than 20 min in any previous season), but it didn't hurt us. I think it helped that one of the dudes on the opposing team was rubbing us all the wrong way, so we pulled together to take him out. That was a team-building exercise.

The standings have been righted, and we are now where we should be, tied for first. It's turning out to be a good season. Fun, and we're winning. Not a bad combo.

Summer Softball - Week Three: Let's Play Two!

We had a doubleheader on Sunday, which was, of course, a great way to spend an afternoon. The sun was out, everyone was in a good mood, the sunflower seeds were flowing.

Oh, and we got walloped.

But I think we've all resigned ourselves to just having fun and not really worrying about the final tally, so it doesn't really matter. The games continue to be high-scoring affairs, so at least they're not boring. In fact, they're quite eventful. The ball is constantly flying around, whether it's being hit over our heads or we're tossing it into the street. Yes, never a dull moment.

Our first game was against the team who we lost to last Sunday, and while we were pretty sure we weren't going to beat them this time around, we hoped for a better showing. Last week they beat us by 12 runs. This week they beat us by 18. So, you know, not really what most would consider an improvement.

The second half of our doubleheader found us facing a team who had beat the team we just lost to. As usual, we had a couple terrible innings that sealed our fate. They ended up beating us 31-20. Not exactly a pitcher's duel. To add insult to injury, our third baseman took a bad hop off the chin in the last inning. Not a great end to the day, but it was all really fun up to that point.

We play the first place team in two of our next three games. Think I might start carving my own bat...

Standings are here. We're the team in the cellar.